I Wrote Our Story So My Sons Could Understand

Nadia - Miguel 1968
 
wife/husband   

When I sit down with Miguel, I hear a love story that begins in Abu Dhabi, where he meets Nadia, marries her within six months, and builds two decades of the kind of partnership that makes ordinary days feel electric. Then metastatic breast cancer arrives, and being “the strong one” stops sounding like a compliment and starts feeling like a job with no days off. We talk about what caregiving really looks like when treatment, parenting and fear collide, and why he began writing at night simply to stay upright.

Miguel explains how those pages became The Boxer’s Corner, written almost like a message to his sons so they could one day understand what happened to their mum and what he was carrying. We talk about the moment Nadia dies in his arms, the brutal gap between that night and the next morning when he has to tell two children aged thirteen and nine, and the strange way grief turns you towards simplicity, routine and the small details you never want to forget.

We also explore what families need from cancer‑care communication, especially when optimism starts to blur reality, and the caregiver ends up holding the truth alone. And we hear how a five‑month, round‑the‑world trip with a tutor becomes a form of healing through awe, movement and shared memories, with music that keeps Nadia present. 

If you’ve lived through loss, supported someone through cancer, or wondered how people rebuild after tragedy, this conversation stays with you. 

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Bits & Bobs

• The Boxer's Corner: A Cancer Caregiver's Story of Love, Loss, and Isolation
  by Miguel Barron 
• The Global Madridista - The ONLY English language content by a REAL Socio Abonado of Real Madrid covering all Real Madrid news and analysis straight from Madrid. 171k followers! https://www.youtube.com/@TheGlobalMadridista

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Transcript

Life Between Madrid And California

SPEAKER_00 0:05

You're listening to Mars, and this is a long time ago, and I'm talking to Miguel. Where are you in the world?

SPEAKER_01 0:12

I am in Madrid. Yeah. Fantastic city, uh a city that I really love. And managed to move back here about three years ago. I was actually born in Santa Barbara in in California, but my family was entire is entirely Spanish. So I sort of grew up coming back and forth. So Madrid has has always been a part of my life. And you know, sometimes I'd spend a year or two or and then go back to the US. It was kind of, you know, it feels like coming home in a way.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Your parents moved from Spain. Did they move in their lifetime, or did your grandparents move?

SPEAKER_01 0:41

Well, basically, my my grandfather died in the Spanish Civil War. And my father at the time, I think he was like seven or eight years old, he had to leave Spain with his mother. They had to leave sort of immediately for political reasons. Uh I mean, this was to just right after the Spanish Civil War, you know, like late 30s. So they they got on the first ship that that they could get on, and they ended up in Panama, of all places. It was the only place, it was the only ship they could get on. And eventually my grandmother met an American gentleman by the name of Thomas Barron, which which explains my last name, and they moved to California. That's how we got there, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Uh I love your surname, by the way. I read the um the Jeffrey Archer book, Cain and Abra, where he built uh he built a load of hotels called Baron Hotels right across Europe. I don't I don't know if you've ever read that book. It's an old classic anyway, no worries. You've lived in various places. You've lived in Europe, you've lived in New York and and Miami. You speak seven different languages as well.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Uh well, yeah, I mean it's fixed. I mean, yeah I I traveled an enormous amount. Well, my father was a professor at the University of California in Santa Barbara, but he took a leave of absence to to become a diplomat. So we we traveled a little bit when I was growing up. And then later as a student, and in my professional life, I traveled a lot. So I sort of spent a few months in Brazil. I used to study in France in the summers. I sort of spent a few months in Brazil and Belgium. And you know, my my first real job out of graduate school was in Abu Dhabi at the Abu Dhabi Investment Authority. But yeah, spent time in a lot of different places, and my career was sort of in finance, uh kind of moving me around a little bit as

Meeting Nadia And Marrying Fast

SPEAKER_01 2:12

well.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

We're gonna be talking about something very, very sensitive today. We're gonna be talking about your wife, uh Nadia. When you think back to meeting Nadia in Dubai, what stands out the most? Because you were very young. What what what's what's the first thing that stands out to you?

SPEAKER_01 2:29

Yeah, well, I I was sort of in my mid-20s uh and working in Abu Dhabi and had a sort of very kind of carefree life. But there was obviously an expat community, and we would go out with friends in the evening and that sort of thing. And and you know, I met Nadia, she was actually dating a French guy when I first met her. Um but she you know, she was sort of just remarkably charming uh and beautiful, and and so there's this this young French guy went back to France on holiday in summer, and I thought, all right, here's my window of opportunity. Here's my job. Exactly. Uh but yeah, she was her family was originally from Bangladesh, you know, but then moved to Karachi after Bangladesh became independent. So she was sort of raised in Karachi, Abu Dhabi, in London, and went to university in the US in Pennsylvania. So she she was visiting her mother that you know when I met her, and I was I was working in Abu Dhabi. So we sort of met, uh, and it was all very sort of fast and furious. You know, we I met her, we we were married within six months, which is just crazy.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Okay, were you married out there or did you get married in Splate? We married in Dubai. In Dubai, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

Yeah, and I I was supposed to go work in London and then subsequently New York, but you know, we we sort of kind of accelerated everything because of my work situation. So I I flew back to Dubai and said, you know, that you're you're coming with me. It was all very uh, you know, very romantic, very dramatic. Um, and we had 20 sort of amazing years of marriage and two beautiful kids. So yeah, it's uh a little bit storybook,

Writing A Memoir To Survive

SPEAKER_01 4:00

yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

A little bit of storybook, and that's uh gonna bring me on to my next point because you did write a book. Uh you wrote a book called The Boxer's Corner, which gives a raw account of of caregiving. What made you decide to write that book in real time and and how did that process help you survive?

SPEAKER_01 4:15

Yeah, well, it's interesting because yeah, I kind of wrote it in real time as everything was happening because I was having a very, you know, when when she was initially diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer and we began our treatment, I was still working and then of course trying to help her and and the kids. So I was very, very overwhelmed. And you know, I had a had a hard, I kind of didn't know how to process everything that was going on. So I would just sometimes in the middle of the night, I would just start writing just because I don't know, I just needed to sort of vent uh in in in some way. Um and I never thought it would get published. That honestly, I it was a manuscript that I kept for about four years. Um eventually showed it to a friend in Los Angeles who who said, This is kind of compelling, you should try to publish this. And no idea how to publish a book. She helped me and eventually it got published. But yeah, it was kind of written in real time.

SPEAKER_00 5:08

Your book talked about the pressure of being the strong one. What was was that hardest, the hardest role to carry?

SPEAKER_01 5:15

Well, I mean, it's I mean, obviously, you know, watching uh not you know Nadia go through all of this, it was just absolutely you know horrific. It was a horrific process. Um and I felt kind of very alone. I mean, you have to you have to be very positive and very optimistic, obviously. And you're watching sort of the love of your life kind of you know suffer through all of this. It's just kind of a difficult place to be because you have to remain positive and strong. There's no there's very little margin for for you to kind of deal with your own emotions. And it's very demanding physically uh and mentally as well. So I I just felt under a huge amount of pressure, and and kind of write it, writing it was something that helped me a lot.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

Did did you write it in first person? Was it like a more of a journal?

SPEAKER_01 6:02

I you know, I wrote it as if I were explaining you you can't understand something that you can't explain. So I I I was writing it to a third party almost to my kids in a way, to my sons, but it if you if or if you're forced to explain something, then you're forced to internalize it and understand it. So I was kind of writing to a fic to you know, a fictional audience. Um, but you know, eventually it did sort of get to people that were in similar situations. So I think I found a lot of solace in it. Um because it is kind of a lonely place to be. But yeah, it was me writing to a sort of to my kids in a way, and and you know, sort of to a fictitious third third party.

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Because how old were they at the time?

SPEAKER_01 6:49

Uh well when she passed away, they were 13 and 9, which is a really difficult age, I think, because I think if kids are if they're very little, they kind of you know don't really understand it. I think if they're older, they do understand it. But I think 13 and 9 is an age where children are very attached to their mother. Um, so it was very difficult.

SPEAKER_00 7:10

No, I get what you're saying, and the fact that their future future selves could could could read it and understand it and understand what you went through at that time.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Yeah, I that was part of the idea as well. I wanted them to know what happened and you know, and there are a lot of details about their mother in terms of her personality and things that they obviously remember their mother, but I I think this is something that will help them remember her and understand what happened. So I'm very happy I did it. It was a painful thing to do. I think, you know, I think a painful thing for them to read, but I I think important nonetheless.

Saying Goodbye And Telling The Boys

SPEAKER_00 7:44

You described the moment when Nadia died in your arms, and then the next morning you're having to tell your sons. I mean, how did you find the strength to guide them through this uh unimaginable uh moment?

SPEAKER_01 7:54

Yeah, I this was, I mean, we'll never forget this. It was a Sunday evening and I was completely exhausted and just mentally, emotionally, physically exhausted. And it was a Sunday evening and I went home and I I knew that I didn't have the energy to tell them that evening. I just couldn't, I didn't have it in me. So I had to wait until the following morning. And so I just told the kids, you know, go to bed, you have school tomorrow. Um, you know, knowing that they weren't gonna go to school. Um, but I it so it was a very, very long night. But eventually in the morning, you know, I went upstairs to the room and I just had to tell them that, you know, mama's finally resting, you know, she's finally okay. Yeah. Because they had seen her suffer so much. So I think in a way I just wanted to transmit to them that you know all of the sort of suffering was over. Um and they understood it immediately. Um so yeah, it was a very, very difficult. They, you know, obviously broke down and it was just a you know, kind of a terrible, terrible moment.

Travelling The World After Grief

SPEAKER_00 8:54

So you you went on to do a um a five-month trip around the world. Again, that that was a a bold but beautiful decision from from my perspective. How did that come about?

SPEAKER_01 9:06

Yeah, well, there was, I mean, there was kind of an eerie silence in the house, and and I mean I knew that I had to do something to sort of re-inspire the boys because they they were obviously very depressed and very affected by the whole experience. And and you know, how do you how do you manage that and how do you kind of revive them sort of spiritually, emotionally? Um so I just this this idea just came up kind of randomly, and I and I thought it was funny. We we were meeting, we're gonna go meet friends in Bahamas, and we were on the way to the airport, and we had this, you know, very charming Jamaican driver. And as we were going to JFK, he said, Oh, what are you guys gonna do for Christmas? I said, Well, I think I might take the kids to Asia because we go to Europe all the time. And and he said something, he says, Well, you know, I have a lot of clients who travel a lot, and they take a tutor with them. Okay, and I and just the moment, it's like the penny dropped. I go, that's just genius, you know. So I so I, you know, we got to the airport, and when we got onto the flight, I said, Hey boys, do you want to go around the world? And uh they said, Yeah, you know, so so we spent, we took a tutor with us and spent five months uh going around the world. It was the most amazing experience, and it achieved what I wanted, which was to sort of revive them spiritually and emotionally, and sort of make them see beauty and that there's so much to live for. So I it was really therapeutic, and it was just an amazing, very happy I did that. I and it worked because it really I think helped help the boys quite a bit.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Was there a moment in that five-minute journey where you saw the boys sort of like breathe again? Is there a moment that sticks out at all?

SPEAKER_01 10:40

Yeah, there were so there were moments. I mean, we it was very over the top. I mean, we sort of took helicopters and stuff like this, and but there were moments where you were maybe in a helicopter over a glacier in like New Zealand, and you I heard the kids in the earphones, you know, we're all wearing these headphones, and and I could hear my kids go, Oh my god, you know, and you and like in that moment you know that you've just blown their minds, and so that there are little moments where you could just the awe in them uh and you could see that they were just being reinspired. So yeah, there were a few of those

Music That Keeps Nadia Present

SPEAKER_01 11:16

moments.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

So music sometimes pins memories into place. Is there is there is there a particular song or band that instantly makes you think of Nadia? And I don't necessarily mean in a negative way, but in a in a really that makes you smile.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

Yeah, I mean, there are so many playlists uh that I have and it's funny you mentioned that because Nadia and I were really into music and we would always try to discover things and share that. So like, you know, if if we came across a good song, we're like, hey, you gotta listen to this, you know. So we always love music and we go to a lot of concerts, and I have so many playlists that just are just all her. And it's funny because my sons, who are much older now, you know, they'll sort of walk into the living room and say, Hey, have you heard this song? And it's like maybe you know, 20 years old, and I go, Well, Mama and I used to listen to that. So it's yeah, yeah. There are a lot of those songs, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 12:05

Absolutely.

When Cancer Care Avoids The Truth

SPEAKER_00 12:06

Fantastic. So your book also highlights like the shortcomings in cancer care communication. What do you think doctors or the industry could do better to help families that were you know in crisis?

SPEAKER_01 12:18

Well, I mean, it's a really great question. And I I think that it seemed to me throughout this entire process that the doctors always had to spin everything very positively. And I do understand that, and I think it's good for the patient, but I I there does come a point where it detaches you from reality. And so I started to do a lot of research about her condition on my own. I'm not a doctor, but I started to really research things, and I started to realize that there was a big divergence between what the doctors were kind of transmitting and her real condition. And that put a lot of pressure on me because at some point we're all gonna have to face up to reality. And I felt like that they were just sort of transmitting the burden to me instead of being more honest with the patient. So there just seemed to be a kind of a positive spin all the time. And I understand why they want to do that, because they want to keep the patient in a positive state, and or maybe some of it is is related to sort of liability risk. I don't know. But what it does do is it it puts the burden on the caregiver because at some point she has to realize where she is, and they postponed that reality as much as they could.

Reinventing Life In Madrid

SPEAKER_00 13:34

You walked away from your career to raise your boys that you originally rebuilt your life in Los Angeles and then later uh Madrid. What do those moves teach you about starting a game?

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Yeah, well, I mean, you know, life is about decisions um and and priorities. And so, you know, I uh obviously after Nadia passed away, I sort of gave up my career in in finance and uh and sort of devoted myself to the boyers entirely. But you know, once they were older, I could start to sort of think about the things I wanted to do myself. Um but I I think that you can reinvent yourself so many different ways in life. I mean, you know, there are so many chapters that you can rewrite, and what what happened to us would was tragic, but uh, but I think you have to move on and kind of reinvent yourself. So you know, I moved to Madrid and you know, I've I have a small investment advisory business, uh, and I have sort of a as a hobby kind of a YouTube platform where I sort of follow around Madrid, which has been one of my passions since I was a kid. So once the kids were older, I was able to sort of reconnect with my interests. Yeah. Um, because I finally had the time to do it. But you can reinvent yourself so many times in life.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

So this is this is a soccer team, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

Yeah, Ramadan is the greatest club in the world, the biggest club in the world, yeah. And it's my absolute passion since I was a kid.

SPEAKER_00 14:54

So I would be remiss if I didn't ask you about um a couple weeks ago when Spain won the World Cup. You were obviously in Madrid, so tell me about that. It was insanity.

SPEAKER_01 15:05

I cannot begin to tell you. It was absolute insanity. The street, I mean, people hugging each other, kissing each other, that didn't even know each other. It was just like it was just like a giant love fest that went on for like 72 hours. It was amazing, absolutely amazing. Uh, an incredible uh experience. Definitely just I'll never forget it. Amazing.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

No, so where where were you watching the game?

SPEAKER_01 15:33

Uh I watched the game with my son, and then you know, it was funny. We we wanted to go to Plaza de Colón, which is where they had the big fan zone. Yeah. It was just impossible to get in. It was impossible to get in. People had been there since like six in the morning, it and the match was at night. Uh, and then we tried to find a like a bar. Like it was go to a bar. Impossible. Impossible. Just everything. So we had to run back home. And we we watched it at home, and the second we won, we just, you know, ran out on the streets and celebrated with with uh you know millions of other people.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

It was really, really incredible. So you built YouTube channel then following um Real Madrid then?

SPEAKER_01 16:12

Yeah, yeah, because I'm uh you know, I'm a sort of member of the club and I've been going to the stadium since I was a kid. And you know what I noticed when I came back to Madrid, I'm like, there's a million people that cover Re Madrid in Spanish. Yeah. Well, what about what about the hundreds of millions of Real Madrid supporters who don't speak Spanish? And I, you know, conveniently speak English. So I thought, you know, but I'm very connected to the club and always have been. So I thought maybe I could launch a platform to kind of cover Re Madrid in English. And uh and there was definitely a market for it, for sure for sure.

SPEAKER_00 16:45

For sure, yeah, definitely is uh there. I will put the link of the YouTube into my show notes. After everything, so love, lost, fatherhood, rebuilding, rediscovering,

The Simple Memories That Remain

SPEAKER_00 16:56

joy. What's the one memory of Nadia or your boys that you hope never fades?

SPEAKER_01 17:01

I think the simple things are the simple moments, the the the evenings, the dinners, the yeah, I think after an experience like this, I think you you just see beauty in simplicity. And the simple things are the things that you value most. I think this happens not just with aging, but I think with experiences like this. So the memories that I most remember are for Christmas, though she would always you know cook Cornish hens, uh, and I would always break open a bottle of the gasithelia, uh, and I would even let my li my kids have a little sip, you know. So just moment, simple moments like that, you know, holidays, just dinners. Yeah, those those are wonderful memories that you know will be with us forever. Forever.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Okay, Miguel, I'd like to thank you very much for your time today. It's been an absolute pleasure speaking to you. I'm so glad you went on that five-month trip. That's that was a definite special thing to do and and clearly a huge turning point. Uh, thank you very much for your time. It's been a pleasure to talk.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

Thanks, my pleasure.

SPEAKER_00 17:59

Thank you.