The People Who Raised the Man

All Steve's People - Steve 1963
 
family/son, husband & father 

A rough sea, a low sky, and the bridge to Hayling Island set the tone for my conversation with Steve — a story about what truly holds a life together. As we talk, he takes me back to a Portsmouth childhood framed by open doors, tight streets, and the hard memory of standing between warring parents. His mum’s grit — three jobs, empty cupboards, and not a hint of self‑pity — becomes the moral baseline he’s carried ever since: show up, work hard, do right.

Family, for Steve, arrives in unexpected shapes. Ray never married his mum, yet lived as “grandad” if not in Steve’s eyes, then certainly in the eyes of Steve’s children. Then there’s Bob, the father‑in‑law who modelled what a good dad looks like: honour, steadiness, and unfussy generosity. The day Bob introduced him as “my son” rewired something deep — a simple phrase that offered a sense of belonging and a standard to live by.

Threaded through it all is Julie, the girl he walked home from a school disco just before they turned fourteen. Together, Steve and Julie build a family business in financial planning and later wills and trusts — a partnership shaped by graft, loyalty, and a shared instinct to look after people properly. Enter Jasmine (Jazz), the daughter who earns every step, surpasses them in qualifications, and eventually becomes the mentor. When a seizure forces Steve out of the driver’s seat, clients love Jazz for her clarity. She modernises the culture too, swapping “back in the day” barked orders for calm guidance and turning complex pensions into plain English.

At the heart of the firm are the “afterlife meetings,” where bereaved families receive clear explanations and a map for what comes next. It’s service in its purest form: keep it human, help where you can, and put family first. Across mother, step‑grandad, father‑in‑law, wife, son and daughter, one creed holds everything together: don’t be a dick. Do the right thing, even when no one’s watching.

If Steve’s story resonates, follow and subscribe for more conversations about love, work, and the people who shape us.

Jazz really is a force to be reckoned with, hence I say it three times! 

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Transcript

Setting The Scene On Hayling Island

SPEAKER_02 0:06

You're listening to Mars and this is from time of both people. Today I'm on Hailen Island. I came over the bridge today, it looked very rough out there. There was a lot of people walking across the bridge as well. How long have you lived here? Just over 20 years. Steve, we're gonna be talking about a few things today, but mainly four people. Four people that are important in your life. But before we get into that, what I'd like to do is just just talk a little a little bit about growing up, uh I suppose in the 60s, probably the 70s. 60s, yeah, 1963.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

1963 is the your You remember it from the song Late December back in 63, 20th of December 1963. That's your birthday. Yeah.

Portsmouth Childhood And Family Fractures

SPEAKER_02 0:42

What very special night it was for me. It was for you for sure. That's that's kind of cool, isn't it, really? Okay, yes, I'm just gonna touch on that. I mean, what was Portsmouth like back then?

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Well, I suppose it was like most inner city towns. It was mostly very working class and very, you know, people left their doors open and um all day long and you went in and out, and everyone you knew in the neighbourhood, you know, were literally within the space of ten streets. There was your entire extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, people you called aunt and uncle, even though they weren't actually your aunt and uncle, because everyone back then was told, weren't they? They were told, like, you know, oh, you just call them aunt and uncle.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

Yeah, we did.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

But yeah, you literally everybody you knew on the planet was usually within about ten streets of where you lived.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

Yeah, and you you grew up, you went to school in Portsmouth?

SPEAKER_00 1:26

Yep. So I stayed in Portsmouth all my life until well, until until actually I got married. And even then it was only just on the outskirts, so Waterlooville and stuff before we went further afield.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

Let's talk about your mum. So what's your earliest memory of your mother?

SPEAKER_00 1:42

Earliest? I would say the earliest memory of my mum would have to be not nice ones, it would have been the rounds between my mother and father. Okay. Before they split up. Yeah. Um and and one vivid one that I have, not particularly nice one as I say, but I remember being stood on the on the landing of the house. So I'm I'm the youngest of four. My mother and father rowing as they did so often, and then all four of us being stood between them, and all four of us kids saying to the old man, you know, just get out. Um, because they were rowing yet again, and and you know, mum was always getting upset and crying.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

Okay, that's that's a statement to make, that's your sort of like the earliest memory that you can remember of your mum.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Yeah. Well, it's the one that sticks in my mind the most vivid, and and then the one after that, I guess, would be when my mum sat me down. Um, although my sister disputes this, because when you talk about all day stuff, my sister says, No, it wasn't mum, it was me that did that. So my sister's the oldest of the four of us, and I sort of say, Oh no, I remember coming home from school and my mum telling me how my Nan was now with the angels, and explaining to me what happens when somebody dies like that. So, but my sister says, No, that was me that told you that, not not mum.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

Okay, so looking at your mum and and and obviously she raised four children. So, how old's your your elder sister then?

Mother’s Tenacity And Life After Divorce

SPEAKER_00 3:03

So Sue is now uh sixty eight. Sixty eight. Yeah. James, originally Robert, was called Robert, was um he'd be sixty-six, yeah. Cliff next down um is sixty-four, and then I'm sixty-two. So it was literally just eighteen months to two years between each of us.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

Looking at you, the fact that your mum bought four children up, is there anything that from that that has made you who you are today that your mum did?

SPEAKER_00 3:33

Yeah, I I think certainly the tenacity of the woman. You know, m my mother worked so hard and she also had the right ethic because no matter the fact the old man left, didn't pay uh the maintenance that he was supposed to pay. Umpteen times she ended up going to court and the court would say he's wrong and you've had a court order already and he'd pay a month and then he wouldn't pay anything again. So my mother ran about three different jobs. Times when we were hungry because there was no food in the house, not because we were just late for tea, you know? Yeah. But she just did her best, and even with all of the stuff that she had to deal with, she just carried on. She just plodded on um and just never gave in.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

Now, how old were you when your dad left?

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Uh I was about six.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

And did you see him again?

SPEAKER_00 4:14

Not for years and years and years. When he left, he left because he'd been having an affair with uh uh a woman who was allegedly a friend of the family. Um and then she died not uh some years later, I don't know how long, because we had not literally nothing to do with him at all. And then he met another woman, Gwenda, who he married as well. And then he had another child with Gwenda. She also had a son from a previous relationship. And once he was with Gwenda and he had another child, he kind of started trying to get back in contact a little bit. So then occasionally once in a while we saw him.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

So what changed once he left?

SPEAKER_00 4:48

Well, it was more it was a more peaceful house between those two. It was probably less peaceful from between brothers, because brothers being brothers, particularly back in the day, you're always arguing and fighting all the time. But my mother did a pretty good job of being a dad figure as well as a mother figure, anyway. Especially my siblings talk about the blue baseball bat, which I don't recall ever, and they just say I've blotted it out. But they reckon, and when I say blue blue baseball, let's be clear, this is like a soft plastic. Okay, right. But they reckon my mother used to use that on them occasionally if they were naughty because it would hurt her hand too much, having to smack that many kits. Yeah, not that my sister ever needed smacking, she was a goody two shoes. It was always the boys, and it was mostly the other two.

SPEAKER_02 5:31

We had a wooden spoon, if I remember correctly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

So I mean I I remember getting the slipper and all that kind of stuff from a mother, but I don't recall ever getting a blue baseball bat.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

No. So did anything stay the same off he went? I mean, obviously things changed because they weren't arguing, but did life just seem the same or Yeah, because he wasn't really around much anyway.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

You know, I mean, like everything back then, you know, mum was bringing up four kids anyway, the old man went to work, but he was hardly home anyway when he wasn't at work because he was out having affairs, 'cause that's what he used to do all the time. So he wasn't really around that much anyway. No. You know, so it was just in in many ways, it was almost just normal.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Did your mum get a chance to move on?

Ray The Unofficial Stepdad

SPEAKER_00 6:11

She did, in the sense of she had other partners over the years. I think that despite everything my old man did, I I do believe, not that she ever said so, because my mum didn't she wasn't very open about talking about feelings, you know. I think she still loved my old man to the end. Because she had several partners over the years that moved in, stayed with us, none of whom I ever felt particularly, you know, any kind of affinity towards. The only one that lasted a long, long time, to the end actually, was Ray. And I eventually actually referred to Ray to people as my stepdad, even though they never got married. But even I still didn't, I guess, from all that age. So Ray was around for, oh gosh, at least 30 years. So quite a time.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

Long time, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

They never ever got married. Ray was quite a bit older than my mum. He was fit as a fiddle. He he died when he was about, I think he was 90. You wouldn't have believed he was that age if you'd ever met him, even up until six months before he died. Yeah, fit as a fiddle, hardly anything wrong with him. He used to have a few medications for a heart condition. He was actually um a prisoner of war in a Japanese prisoner of war camp. He was a Royal Marine in the in the granddad then. And uh he he always any time I ever saw Ray get angry, very placid guy, even though he was in a war in that kind of setup. Yeah, placid all the time, unless anyone talked about anything to do with Japanese uh but the bit I didn't get at all was that for my kids, all they'd ever known was there was grandad Ray and granddad Bob. And I only saw Granddad Bob as being their granddad because he is their biological granddad. But Ray was my stepfather and not even technically my stepfather, but he was a nice enough guy. Um he was a bit of a drunk actually, and he had a drink problem which he he eased up with. So kind of their early days, there was lots of row still, because it it was fine until he got drunk on, and especially if he was drinking whiskey, and then he'd get loud and rambunctious. There was a couple of times we said, Do you want us to throw him out? But yeah, to my kids, as they were growing up, that was just the same, and it was only when Ray died, and someone said to me, Steve, you're you seem quite cool about it, with your your kids are really upset, and but but he's not there but to them he is well especially if he's been around 30 years. Yeah, he'd known them all their life, from the day they were born. And to them he was every bit where the granddad uh their other granddad was. So you don't always see it the way somebody else sees it, do you?

SPEAKER_02 8:38

So the other granddad, that's Bob. Yeah. That's your father-in-law. Yes. Yes, yeah. So what made him think that he's like a dad should be?

Meeting Bob And Redefining “Dad”

SPEAKER_00 8:47

Well, so for me, I mean, so first of all, so so Julie and I, my wife, we we met when we were eleven when we first went to senior school. Yeah, and then we started dating a couple of years later, just before I was 14. Her dad, Bob, to me, in my heart and mind, was my dad. He's the dad I didn't have. And it was he put his family first at all times. He had, you know, honour and he would do the right thing. Always do the right thing, but his family always, always was the his number one priority. He would do anything for them without any kind of thought or expectation of anything for it other than the pleasure of doing something. I remember him, he would always say, no matter who it was, it wasn't just family, it could be friends, it could be neighbours, anyone that needed a helping hand. Dad would do stuff for people, and then when people said thank you, phrase I heard him say so many times, it's our pleasure. And he actually got pleasure from doing something for somebody else.

SPEAKER_02 9:43

You called him dad then, that was.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

Yeah, I always always have thought of him as dad. Always. So whenever I do talk about him, I do talk about him as dad. Now, when we first got together, he didn't want Julie to go out with me.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

You had to win him over by the time.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

Well, because but I respected why? Because they came from a working class background. So Julie's mum, part-time cleaner, Julie's dad worked on the railways as a guard, grew up in the war years, very, very poor indeed, curing for bread, all that kind of stuff, and rations. Naturally, which I think most parents would want, but we're talking about fathers in particular, and especially I think it's a little bit different with fathers and daughters, might just be me. Wanted better in the same as I think all of us want our kids to be better than us and to grow to be wiser and all the rest of it better than their parents are, and to one day usurp us. So um he wanted better for his daughter, and as he saw it, they were absolutely working class. We were not even, we hadn't yet reached the dizzy heights of working class. That was something we aspired to achieve from my family, and he knew that. And I think so I respected, well, I want better for my daughter. He would bless him. One of his little accolades I think he was really proud of doing is he became a JP, and so it was kind of quite a thing to be a magistrate.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

Yeah, just as well.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

And they and they would go to like the barn dancers and things, and he'd take Julie with them and be trying to introduce her to doctors' sons and lawyer's sons, and try to say to her, look, you're you're gonna be sitting on tins of baked bean cases all your life if you go with him. So I don't resent it, I understand why, and it was only purely because he was thinking, Well, they're super young, and I just wish you'd sort of pick somebody who's perhaps got a bit more what they're going to give you a better life, maybe, which is I think reasonable for a father to want to do. So he was never outwardly harsh to me. But the first time, because we we both also were in the Freemasons, so I joined with with dad, and we'd go places, of course, and stuff like that. And there was a time when I mean, so I'm skipping forward now, yeah. We've been married for quite a few years. There was a time, the first time came when we were at a Masonic function, and up until then I'd always been introduced to other people as I was my son-in-law, and we went to this other place, and he just turned around and I I get a bit emotional. Even now to this day, turned and said, This is my son. Never said son-in-law, said this is my son. And I was like, Oh shit.

SPEAKER_02 12:11

That's it. That's all you all you wanted, wasn't it? That's all you wanted, mate. Thanks for sharing that. I I guess in that your relationship was as a father and son moving forward.

Earning Acceptance And Early Career Turns

SPEAKER_00 12:20

Yeah, it's it was well, it was after we got married. So again, he was still against us being together. We had planned, I'd gone and asked permission actually, because I did things very old-fashioned quite a bit, good boy. So I actually went went to them. So Julie and I'd been dating for uh I don't know, a good few years. And so I went and asked his permission and he grudgingly gave it, but I think he was still in his mind, it's okay, they're still super young, it'll all fizzle out. So then we set a date for an engagement and he was as that day was getting closer and closer and closer, he was getting slightly more agitated, I guess, of thinking this is gonna actually happen. And then he started to get a little bit more sort of antsy. And his brother, who was living in America, they were over on one of their visits, and he's sat him down and said, Look, you you're gonna lose your daughter. It's quite obvious. I'll talk to him, it's quite obvious they're in love. And if you're not careful, you're gonna lose your daughter because it's not gonna stop. And then just before the engagement party, he kind of like made his piece of it, I guess. And so our engagement party got taken over by dad because now we had to have a two, it looked like a bloody wedding cake. It was like two-tier white cake, it's only an engagement party for Christ's sake, but now we kind of I suppose succumbed bought into it and when it's gonna happen. Yeah, then typically of him, well, now I've accepted my daughter wants this, and now they do whatever he asked to make her happy. So, yeah, from that point onwards it was kind of okay. And then up until then, I still hadn't kind of achieved any materialistic success in life because we were still very, very young. I had um given up on my hope to go into the navy uh because they wouldn't let me do the job I wanted. So I said, bugger you, then I'm not coming in if you won't let me do my job. Like they'd care. Like they'd care. Yeah, like they'd be so upset, wouldn't they? The real navy that Steve Blowfield said, Well, I'm not doing it then. So I went off and we started stacking shells at Tesco's, which I'd done part-time when I was a part-timer anyway. Not long after that, I became a trainee manager, and then all of a sudden it was like, Oh, okay, well, maybe you might achieve something. So it'd be alright now after all, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:25

Well, you clearly won him over, Steve. So uh we've touched on Julie. So you met at quite a young age.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

Um, yeah, yeah. So we met when we um we were in different junior schools, but when we went to senior school, that's when we met. So we sort of hung around in the same little group and clique of friends for a couple of years or so.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

Love at first sight at eleven?

SPEAKER_00 14:43

No, no. So so Julie was always, in my opinion, obviously unbiased, but in my opinion, pretty anyway. She always seemed like the nice girl next door. So it not what I assumed would be girlfriend material, right? Okay, careful with it. So, yeah, careful here. Only in the sense of a goody two shoes. Even at a fairly young age, maybe because I had two older brothers and hanging around with them a lot, I was a little bit more forward, shall we say, in suggesting that a girl might, you know, we should have a kiss or whatever. Yeah. Um at a fairly young age. So if I look at the group of friends we had, there was one other lad and there were six girls. Um, and that as a group is the group that our little clique was together. So there was two of them that I thought of as possible girlfriend material. And when I say girlfriend material miles, I mean, you know, some who who might be up for a snog.

SPEAKER_02 15:38

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

Right? The others I wouldn't have particularly wanted to have the snog with because they were nice people, but not my type. And Julie, yeah, was pretty, but she was just this little Miss Goody Two shoe. So that's why it kind of never entered my head. Yeah. That's just Julie. Julie wouldn't do that sort of thing. And I know she wouldn't actually, in in hindsight, afterwards, because before we started dating, she only ever had two boyfriends in her life. Okay. Right? One of them she never kissed anyway. They were just boyfriend and girlfriend in name. And the other one apparently she kissed once. Yeah. That's it. So literally. Yeah. So there was one of the others that I tended to always gravitate towards because she was always up for a good kiss and a cuddle. Yeah. So um but so it was about, yeah, just before my 14th birthday. So we had we had a school disco. I was trying to chat up one of the others, which wasn't weren't in our particular group.

SPEAKER_02 16:26

This has been in the late 70s this school disco.

School Disco To Lifelong Love

SPEAKER_00 16:29

Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was born in 63. So yeah, yeah, yeah, it would have been late 70s. Yeah. Um, plenty of Saturday Night Fever, John Trafalgar, all that stuff. They all six. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So um I was trying to chat up one of the other girls. She wasn't in our little group, it was from a different group. I think her name was Michelle. She decided she wanted to go and off and dance with some other young lad. So I copped the needle a bit. And then someone came up to me, I don't even remember who it was, one of our friends, and said, Steve, go and ask Julie to dance. And not that we did school discos that way, but if you go back to the 50s, 40s, 50s, you know the old movies where you have the women sat around the edge. Yeah, yeah, sorry. Right? Yeah. So they were sat around the edge, but not kind of quite in that same way. And I was just like, sure, okay, fine. So I just went and said to Julie, do you want to dance? Um and she said yes. No, unbeknownst to me at this point, although I had always looked at Julie as not girlfriend material because she wouldn't be up for a snog. And that was all very mercenary. No, I'm being just being honest, very mercenary. Caroline was always up for a snog, and you know, anyway, so I said to Julie, do you want to dance? And she went, Yeah. And so we went on the dance for it was the last song of the night, anyway, and it was Bee Gees, How Deep Is My Love Is Your Love, which is our song. Um, and we danced, and I was just like, Oh shit. Now I'm thinking. Then uh bearing in mind, up until that point as well, even though I was only just before 14, I had kissed a few girls and explored one or two other avenues, but not the hallway, obviously. And uh so I wasn't exactly shy around girls. So then I walked around and we got to the so this is from it's about it's probably about a three-mile walk from the school to her house. So I walked her home. We had to stop a payphone and call her mum to tell her that she's missed the last bus. So that's how posh they were as working class. They had a phone in the house.

SPEAKER_02 18:19

A phone.

SPEAKER_00 18:19

I have no idea how that works. So her mother was none too pleased that she'd missed the last bus home from the school disco and you know, bloody get home quit and I said, Oh, I've got somebody walking me home. And all the way walking her home, you imagine a three-mile walk, barely said a word because I was tongue-tied and I wasn't sure what to say. And the closer and closer we got to her house, and I'd been to her house before because we were just a group of friends hanging out at school. And the closer and closer I got, the more and more these butterflies were in my stomach. And then we stood at the gate, it was a pale blue gate, a raw iron gate that her dad had painted, and I'm stood there and I'm thinking, shit, I don't know what to say. I've never been in that position with a girl. And I felt awkward like that. And Julie being Miss Goody Two Shoes, and then she stood there looking at me, and she says, looked at me, and she went, Are you gonna kiss me then or what? And I thought, boah, shit. So I did, and then uh we finished uh just a small kiss, and mum was arriving at the door, um, and you know, good and I'm just coming, mum. And then she went in and I looked at her and I said, I love you. And I meant it. I literally was on Walking on Cloud Line 9. I've never ever experienced anything like it in my life. She went in and we found out later, she thought I said that to every girl I kissed because I had a bit of a reputation. And you probably say those things so you can have a kiss. I've never said that to a woman in my girl in my life, and then I walked home, literally, you know, like in the old movies as well, when someone's walking down the road and then jump in there and click the heels together. I actually did that. I was so high on happiness, and then I went and woke up my best mate to tell them that I've fallen in love and I don't understand the feelings I've done. So it was a bolt from the blue, but it wasn't love at first sight. So how old were you when you got married? Uh so well, we we've been married now 41 years. Uh yeah, we were twenty two.

SPEAKER_02 20:14

So you went out of each other until you got married then?

SPEAKER_00 20:16

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Uh I mean, well, we went out of each other till we got married. Julie did dump me five times.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

Oh right.

SPEAKER_00 20:23

Okay. In total. So the shortest one was about two hours. You're at school, aren't you? Yeah, yeah. And you're school kids. One time was this is how nice she is.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

So one of her friends, the fact you know exactly how many times.

Breakups, Makeups, And Commitment

SPEAKER_00 20:36

Oh, yeah, but not that I don't mention it to her at all or the rest of the family. Of course, no. No, no, no. Absolutely. So one time with one of her friends, Tracy, she had said to her, I I fancy Steve, I want to go out of Steve, dump him so I can go out of him. So she did. Because that's Julie. If somebody asks Julie to do something, she'll just do it because she wants to please everybody. She's a pleaser. So she's dumbed me, and then I've um gone out with this Tracy for five minutes, and then the next thing there was a party round this Tracy's house, and me and Caroline Crawford were in the hallway having a snog again. I thought I'd teach Julie. Yeah, so that that was kind of I think that was about a two-weeky one. But the very, very last one, which was a serious one that lasted for about six or seven weeks. And we were we'd already talked about um because I told her, I think I was about sixteen when I told her I wanted to marry her. And of course she was like, it was before we actually got engaged, and I was getting quite serious. We both started work now, and so I was the only boyfriend Julia'd really know. And so she had started work uh as a secretary, and they were all old folks working. She used to work at the Portsmouth Blind Association, and they were all old folks, and then this young fella came to work there. Okay, and he was maybe uh about four or five years old. Older than something like that and and everything. She she explains it. I was a bit confused because I was then attracted to thinking, and how can that be right? If I'm supposed to be in love, how can I look at another bloke for the first time ever and think, oh, he's good looking and he seems really nice as well. So um that's actually when she explained it to me, she just said, I'm not sure, I need a break, is what she said. I found all this stuff out later on. And uh so for about a week I literally went to her house every day with a different present: roses, teddy bears, chocolates, crying at the doorstep, please take me back. What do you need me to do? You know, I was just absolutely heartbroken. And then eventually we agreed, no, I need a break. Look, we'll agree we're gonna meet up at the Red Line Pub in Cosham, but you've got to leave me alone, no phone calls, no coming to the house, no letters, nothing for two weeks. I need time to think to myself. So we agreed that, which is probably one of the toughest two weeks of my life. I then because I was working full time then at Tesco's and everyone else is going to meet Come on for Christ's sake, come out of us down of town, we're going to the nightclubs, which I'd never done because Julie and I'd been together before you ever went out to nightclubs. So we never did that whole nightclub scene thing. So one night I just went and they're going, I suppose after about a week or so you start feeling a little bit the anger's kicking in now rather than just the crying, you know. So um I went I went out down there, and there was a girl that was affectionately known as Mary from the Dairy, that's because she worked on the dairy section, and her name was Mary. So she and I hit it off that night. So back to my old ways, and as they said in that friends episode, I was on a break.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

I was on a break.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

I was on a break. But some of Julie's friends were there and saw us dancing and kissing at the down the down the nightclub. So that got back to Julie. And then when we arrived at our rendezvous at the Red Line pub two weeks later, and then Julie said to me, which again she admits now is out of sheer jealousy. And when she heard about that, she was like, No one else gets to touch my man or be with my man. So she was like, No, we're definitely getting back together again. I I know what I want, it's absolutely is you, and then of course she said, But now I have heard about this Mary and what happened. I said, None of your business, we were on a break.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

It really was a friend's episode.

SPEAKER_00 24:12

Yeah, it was, yeah.

Building A Family Business

SPEAKER_02 24:13

Okay, so so we spoke about your mum, we uh we've spoken obviously about Bob and we've spoken about Judy. So So the the first time I met Jazz, actually met her, was we were in Spain on holiday and we were wandering through there's a there's a park near Salu called Port Aventura, and I was there with my family, and lo and behold, I walked we're in the park, I walked around the corner, and there you all are on holiday, and it was just like a surprise. And uh we spent a bit of time with you very briefly in the park, and then you kindly invite us out for a meal, and we had a nice meal with you, which you paid for, thank you very much. In Saloo at your hotel, which is really nice. And I met Jazz then, I think I can't remember how old she was, I want to say between 10 and 12, maybe, but she was a force to be reckoned with then. I then met her um a few years later when you uh when she started working with you. And I've said this to other people before when I talk about your your family business and uh what a force to be reckoned with that she actually is, and how because she's worked with you all these years, she's you were obviously her mentor uh and uh obviously her father, and you brought her into this business and taught her everything you knew, and that was really obvious. And I I remember saying when she was about 33, she's just a force to be reckoned with.

SPEAKER_00 25:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:25

So tell me a little bit about because what I think is quite interesting when I was talking to you about doing this, you were talking about how Jazz has actually become your mentor now. So tell me a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_00 25:34

Yeah, if I may just quickly beforehand, because it's interesting how we all remember stuff. So I don't recall you having the mail with you guys. No, you did, you took a meal. Yeah, I don't dispute it, but I'm just saying I don't recall it. Yeah, but the bit I recall is you didn't just walk around the corner, and Jasmine and Rob tell me, so it was them two, they were queuing up behind you to go on a ride. They are Julie and I didn't go on the ride because I'm scared of rolling. You heard them talking and recognised uh a voice and thought you sound you turned around, looked at these two kids behind you, yeah, and looked at them and went, Oh my god, are you Steve Blofield's kids? And she went, Yeah. Yeah. And then they got off the ride and you did with your family, and then you came around the corner, me and Julia were.

SPEAKER_02 26:20

No, that is what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

All of us have slightly different recollections, don't we?

SPEAKER_02 26:25

And this is one of the reasons why I wanted to do this, it's to talk about things, you know, from different people's viewpoints. And yeah, it is funny when you talk to somebody about the same same event, when I spoke to my mum and then my aunt about my grandparents, they had similar stories but different at the same time. Yeah, there's a different aspect from it, yeah.

Jasmine’s Rise And Role Reversal

SPEAKER_00 26:40

So with the kids, see yeah, when I was chucked out of Tesco's by my boss, and then went off and thought, well, well, what am I gonna do? So I became a financial advisor, as you know. And then initially, both Rob and Jazz worked in the family business for a short period of time while they when they were both teenagers at school earning a bit of part-time money and all the rest of it. Although both of my kids used to take the piss and say to me, Well, you're an insurance salesman, aren't you, Dad? Used to really wind me up, you know. No, I'm a professional financial advisor, I'm not an insurance salesman. Used to really get pushed by buttons and they knew it, so they would do it. Rob never had any kind of passion for it, his passions laid elsewhere. Love him to bits, and I'm sure there are plenty of things he would have taught me over the years, but it was never ever going to work that he had no interest in what we did at all. And he's brilliant at what he does anyway, as well, which I don't even begin to understand, which I know frustrates and annoys him because he's way more intelligent than I am. Um but Jasmine did. So yeah, when when she came into the family business, again, part-time uh start off with and then full-time. And actually, no, when she said she wanted to go full-time rather than finish college and then go and do some other career. And I said to her, I made it very, very clear to her, so your family, you'll so long as you don't do anything bad or wrong, which you never would anyway, you'll always have a job, but you'll have nothing more than being the person that makes the tea or does some bits of admin unless you're any good. You'll never I will never ever give somebody more responsibility or promotions just because they're family, you've got to earn it. And I told her right from the off, if anything, I'll be twice as hard on you as I will be on anyone else that works for us. So she knew that, you know, and but she kind of knew that's what her old man was like anyway. But yeah, so she started to learn everything. Good at it. Julie, because Jasmine wanted her to start taking exams to become qualified, and Julie hadn't at that point, and although Julie's never advised clients, she then were like, okay, I'll do the exams with you. So they both did them together. And then when they both got to the point where they were both fully qualified as financial advisers, no one was still registered to give advice, it was still only me doing the actual advice part. And then Jasmine was going, No, I'll go beyond that. And Julie went, No, that's what I'm done. I've done the FP1, two, and threes and C Map. I really don't need to do any more. I just wanted to do some. So Jasmine carried on until she caught up with me. I forget what level I was at. We carried on together doing some extras, and I sat one exam that I sat with her, and this is how we differ. We go to, you know, like when you do the the multiple choice ones. So you go into those centres and you sit down, you get your allotted time. I'm that person, I go and I just go bang, I'm very quick start, I know it or I don't know it. Boof, bosh, bosh, bosh. I come out, I've got 40% of my time left. I'm not going to go through the questions again, it's just not my way of doing things, right? Jasmine go has a system, she methodically goes through all of them and doesn't even attempt one she's not sure about. Does all the ones she's absolutely sure about, then she goes back through and has another go at the others. And then if she's got time, she'll re-look at them all again and she'll come out one minute before the time is up. So I forget even what course this one was on. It was something to do with advanced. So we came out, so I came out and the guy looked at me and he shook his head and went, sorry, you got a narrow foul. I was like, oh bugger. And I'd um and that was the that was the second time only in my life I'd actually failed an exam. And so I was a bit annoyed. Aswin came out and he went pass with distinction, of course she bloody did.

SPEAKER_01 30:13

Of course, yes.

Seizure, Succession, And New Leadership

SPEAKER_00 30:14

So then I not to be beaten, so I went back and did a reset, failed it again. Went back a third time, did another reset, just about pass it, and went now I'm done, I'm not taking any more exams ever again. But she carried on, um, and and she became way, way, way more qualified than me a long, long time ago. But of course, that's just the exams, and I don't actually set that much store by exams because it just means you manage to regurgitate enough. It's about are you a decent person? And do you do what's right for people? So that's the bit that matters far more to me, and it does to Jasmine as well. Yes, as time went by and I'm teaching her all the things that I learned from an 18-year career in management at Tesco's, how to manage people and systems and stuff, as well as the financial advice side of things, and then latterly wills and trusts and all that stuff. So there would always be times when she would be constantly soaking up all that stuff, you know? And then you get to the point where you don't really need to advise her anymore. She's just able to do, which is good. And then when I had my seizure and I was off, so by then she was already licensed, but we kept talking about changing the business. Yeah, you're eventually you're gonna have to move over out of the driver's seat. But Jasmine by then she was seeing about five percent of the clients, very small amount, mostly she was running the whole office by that stage, and I was still seeing 95% of the clients. Um, I had my seizure, I was off work for several months because I fractured my back in several places when they got me out of the car. And so while I was off, some of the clients that you know they had to be phoned and said, look, Steve's gonna be off, not sure how long. You could either come and see Jasmine or you can wait till he's back. And some went, all right, it's not that urgent, I'll wait till he's back. I'd rather see Steve. And others went, Oh no, I need to get this done a bit quicker, yeah. I'll come in and see Jasmine. And then several of them said to her, I wonder if your father would mind if I see you in the future. I know he's very intelligent, but sometimes I don't understand what he says. And you explain it to me so much better. Brilliant. So yeah, exactly. So that was cool. And then that was the finally the catalyst, because often when you're boxed into a corner, you've got to start doing something different. So we started to change the dynamic, and then that's when my daughter-in-law Holly came into the family business. Um, well a bit before then, actually, but that's when she started to take over running the offices and stuff. Yeah. And Jasmine then started to see many more clients advising. Eventually, we said, because of my health, you need to give up either financial services or legal services. You can't do both, you can't keep working crazy hours. You're not 21 anymore. So I begrudgedly gave up the licence for financial services. And then, on a technical standpoint, we were about two years in. So, of course, you lose touch, like you the rules have changed. And she said to me one day, can you stop bloody well talking to my clients about their pensions? And I said, Why? What was your problem? She went, You said to whatever the client's name was, the so-and-so and so-and-so could do this with a pension. I said, Well, that's right. She said they changed that rule a year ago. You don't know what you're talking about anymore. Stop talking about my clients about stuff you no longer are up to date with. So that that taught me one lesson. In terms of, I think, mentoring me, because not on the technical side of things, maybe, but on people side more than anything else. And she has taught me far more in the last few years about how to motivate people better. Because I come from the old old days of you motivated your staff when I was a Tesco manager by shouting at people and barking orders at people. It's not the way to do it. No. And and she would show me how what's the old saying? You you you catch more um is it more bees with honey? Yeah. Or whatever. It's just some saying like that, isn't it? And it was like, yeah, okay, fine. So I've mellowed and mellowed a lot more, and I I'm more mindful of what I say and how I go about saying it, that kind of thing. Yeah. And there's even views that I've had over the years, be it work-related or personal related, which over the years I've changed those views just by talking to her. So yeah, so she she's if if I was now starting out in this profession, I would and I would say this genuinely, even if it wasn't my daughter, because I'd also say I wouldn't do this because she's my daughter, if I didn't mean it. Yeah, because I've always been that way with everyone. I'll just tell you the truth. If you don't like it, you shouldn't have asked me to give you an opinion then. So if I thought she was never any good for somebody to to be, you know, to be their be their mentor and to teach them, I would say so. But I would pay to be mentored by her. If I was coming into this profession brand new from school, who'd you want to go and work? I would I would work for free for somebody like her. And there's only one other person in our profession that I've ever met that I would have said to someone, if I was you, I'd go and work for that person for free and soak up everything you can, because it'll it'll pay you huge dividends in in the long run. And it's a shame in many ways that Rob never had any kind of interest in it because yeah, I can see in both of them the same passions, the same intelligence, ability, they're different characters, of course.

SPEAKER_02 35:16

But but Holly's involved, isn't it, isn't she? Yes, yeah. So I mean Rob is technically involved if Holly's involved, and also he's got his music, asn't he, yeah, yeah, yeah. One of his many things.

Changing Management Style And Mentorship

SPEAKER_00 35:27

And again, that day I came and did that event with you, he was he was running all the mics and Rob's helped out with loads of stuff to do with work, but he's just never had the the the interest, he never got bitten by the way that Jasmine and I did, in the sense of whether it's financials and you can help folks, and then even with the wills and trusts and that, how you can help folks and and even more so since we did that, because we'll we'll do our Christ must be about 30 or so afterlife meetings a year, which is what we call it when somebody's died, yeah. And we're setting the family back down and explaining it and what they've got to do next in helping them, and everything we do about it is so supportive to try and go, look, you're going through the crappiest time of your life, and we know it's gonna be a roller coaster ride, and so let's just try and make that as slightly less painful as you possibly can.

SPEAKER_02 36:18

So thinking about your mum, Bob, your father-in-law, Judy, Jasmine, what what do you think threads them all together? What what connects all all four of them?

SPEAKER_00 36:26

I think that every single person of them has a very strong family ethic that matters a lot, but also outside of the family. So a bit like dad would do things for people outside of the family, but his family would always come first if he's had to got a choice between the two. There is no choice, it's my family, and I'm very much the same. Um, but also, even if it's somebody's not family, well, if I can help you, I will. Yeah. Um Rob's like that, Holly's like that, you know, um, Chris Jazz's husband's like that, Jazz's. So they're all of them got quite a strong, I think, ethic of so there's a saying we use as well sometimes in the office that somebody else we know in business coined, which is just don't be a dick. There's no need, just don't be a dick to people. And then if you can help, then then do so.

SPEAKER_02 37:15

You should have that on your business card.

SPEAKER_00 37:16

Yeah, don't be a dick.

SPEAKER_02 37:18

Brilliant, Steve. Well, Steve, thank you very much for your time today. It's been a pleasure speaking to you. Uh, give my regards to everyone in the family.

SPEAKER_00 37:24

I will.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

And uh, yeah, take care.

SPEAKER_00 37:26

Okay, thanks, Mars.

SPEAKER_02 37:27

Brilliant point.