Longtime Ago People
In a world where family connections shape us, stories bridge generations. Many of us carry cherished memories of those who touched our lives, which I think deserve to be shared.
Each episode I hope will feature guests recounting touching, funny, and inspiring memories, celebrating the impact these individuals had on their lives. I aim to beautifully remember loved ones, offering listeners nostalgia, warmth, and connection.
I am looking for people to reflect on the impact of these relationships.
Longtime Ago People
Decades of Friendship: Brenda & Chrissie's Adventures
Christine Miles - Brenda 1939
best friends
What makes a friendship last for over five decades? In this heartwarming conversation, I sit down with Brenda—once known to me as "Auntie Brenda"—to explore the remarkable 50-year friendship between her and my aunt Chrissie.
Their journey began in 1967 at Queen Charlotte's Hospital in London, where the two women worked as midwives, sharing accommodations and forming bonds that would withstand the test of time. Brenda recounts their early adventures with infectious joy, from misadventures in Chrissie's grey Austin A40 van to joining the Twickenham Ladies League of Health and Beauty (complete with mandatory navy shorts).
Our conversation takes us through their evolution from young professionals navigating 1960s London to seasoned travellers exploring France, Italy, and Egypt. Their stories are filled with charming details—finding £600 hidden around Chrissie's parents' house to fund a Cornwall holiday, transporting elderly relatives to a French wedding, and sailing down the Nile where the landscape resembled "the days of the Bible."
Beyond the adventures, we discover the secret ingredients to their enduring friendship. As Brenda reflects, "You don't live on top of each other... you don't get fed up with each other." Their connection survived career changes, geographic distance, and the passage of time because they created space for meaningful reunions and genuine support.
Have a story echoing through time? I’m listening—300 words or fewer.
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"In a world where you can be anything, be kind."
you're listening to miles, and this is long time ago, people. And today I'm with brenda now. When I was little, I called you auntie brenda. You did. When did I stop calling you auntie brenda?
Brenda:I think a long time ago, when you grew up let me tell you a funny story.
Miles:Okay, it involves mimi, my daughter. So at some point, when mimi was about 10, she said to me because you a funny story, okay, it involves Mimi, my daughter. So at some point, when Mimi was about 10, she said to me because you turned up at a Christmas party, which you turn up at the Christmas parties every year. Yeah, christmas family gathering. You've been coming to them forever, ever since I can remember. But Mimi, all of a sudden, when she was about eight or nine, said who's Brenda? And I said Brenda, who comes to Christmas every year. I've never seen him, I've never seen her before. She comes every year. And then we went through this theory that you were basically magical and that everybody's got a Brenda in the UK, that every Christmas you're a Christmas thing. Yeah, you only appear at Christmas. At Christmas, you appear in every family home right across the land. Every single family has got their own brenda that turns up, it's not actually related, but she's called auntie brenda.
Miles:Now I reckon there's a book there for me to write something a good christmas story there there is.
Brenda:There is compete with david walliams, you could definitely has, right, okay.
Miles:So we're here today to talk about my aunt Chrissie, who's sitting over here slurping around her coffee. You've got some notes or something there.
Brenda:I've just jotted down a few things to jog my memory.
Miles:Okay, that's good. Well, let me kick off with a question, and I don't know how you guys met, so just tell me a little bit about, I mean, how long have you had a friendship?
Brenda:Since about 1967. I was a midwife at Queen Charlotte's Hospital in London. Chris came to work at Queen Charlotte's as a midwife. I trained there but Chris hadn't. And in those days, miles, you had accommodation provided by the hospital in what was called 348 Gold Oak Road and we had a cleaning lady called Mrs Sanchez who came once a and she every day, yeah, except Sunday, and she did all our washing. We didn't ask her to. She washed all our knickers and we and we never knew how she knew which was which.
Miles:But she did she did, yeah, she did yeah so what's the very first thing you can remember about Chrissie?
Brenda:I can remember that she was small in stature, okay, yeah, with a frilly hat on. Yeah, yeah, that's what I can remember. Yeah, and she had a loud voice and she was small but loud and she was bossy. What do?
Miles:you mean bossy.
Brenda:She was confident confident's the word. So we worked and you then went out. You know, together you socialised, we went. We'd go to the odd party, go to the odd cinema. Yeah, those were the things you did in London in the late 60s.
Miles:What cinema did you do?
Brenda:We went sometimes to Hammersmith. But one night Chris, unlike any of us, had an old grey van, an Austin A40. And so she was the only one who had a vehicle, because none of us had any money. And so one night we decided to go to Leicester Square to see the film Guess who's Coming to Dinner, and it was when Yellow Lines had just come in. Now our friend who was with us, sue Williams, said they don't mean anything after six o'clock and in those days you could park in Leicester Square. I mean, it's difficult to believe but we could. So we parked in Leicester Square and we went to see Guess who's Coming to Dinner and cried because it was very sad. And we came out and no van and the taxi drivers were there queuing up waiting for all these people coming out the cinema, saying your car's been towed away. Chrissie's van had been towed away to the Elephant and Castle car pound the taxi drivers knew.
Brenda:Yeah, because they knew we'd have to have a taxi to take us to the Elephant and Castle. And remember we didn't have much money, mark. We got to the car pound and I don't quite know how we found the money, because I don't think we had a credit card in those days. No, the money together it wouldn't be a lot, and then we could leave the car pound.
Brenda:Now you may or may not know that your Aunt Chrissie's driving is not. It's all right, it's a straight line. But when it comes to reversing it's difficult. And the car pound she had to do. And remember there was no automatic arm in those days. The man had to put the arm up and down and he was putting his arm up and down where she was trying to reverse to get out of this car park.
Brenda:We were there a long time but we got back. But we also of course had to pay a fine as well as the car park. So that was a memorable night at the cinema in Leicester Square. Another little escapade in the Grey Van was we joined the Twickenham Ladies League of Health and Beauty and we all had to wear long navy shorts. And then I also remember we'd go and do these exercises and then we'd always go and have a steak afterwards and we were driving down Twickenham High Road and Chris, who wasn't always aware of the bollard we drove around the bollard the wrong way. We lived to tell a tale. We lived to tell a tale.
Miles:This driving in the 60s. Do you remember that, Chris? Yeah.
Brenda:The Twickenham, ladies' league. Well, the boats weren't born, were they?
Brenda:No there wasn't a traffic in those days. Yeah, you drove in London. I guess that's why I've never been scared of driving in London, because that's where we learned to drive and where we used to drive around. It was good. I was seconded to do my midwifery teacher's diploma at a place called Haiku, which was in Surrey, which was a prison really. I was paid a small salary but not much, and at the time at the Christmas, chris worked in the private wards and in those days you could accept gifts from patients. You can't do that now. She saved her gifts from the patient and gave them to me for my Christmas present for the family, because I couldn't afford to buy any. I always remember that.
Miles:So did you guys go on holidays together or anything like that?
Brenda:Yeah, we did In 1971, I left Queen Charlotte to go and work in Leicester but used to come down quite a lot to London for the weekend. So we used to go in the early days when I still worked in London. We used to go to holidays in England because Chris went from a grey van to a Hillman Inn, something had happened to her finances and she didn't have any money to go on holiday. She got the car and she said and of course I'd only got enough money for myself. So Chris said my parents are away, but we'll go to my parents' house and look for money.
Miles:And we came here and Chris found £ coming out now and we came here.
Brenda:And Chris found £600 under the carpet. Wow. In drawers in a box called Frozen Assets in the freezer, and there was enough money to go in Hang on a minute.
Miles:The box had the words Frozen Assets on it.
Brenda:No, it just said chicken.
Miles:Oh, it just said chicken Chicken soup yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And we had enough money to go on holiday to cornwall.
Brenda:Yeah, 600 pound back then was a lot of money. It was a lot of money, yeah, but a mother you sided all over the place, didn't she? And then we went on various holidays in england. We used to go back to cornwall. We went to scotland on one occasion where it rained the entire time when we went to the braemar games, you remember, and we saw the royal family and. And then we went called in on Edinburgh to see a friend of ours and we went to the Tattoo and it was freezing. I then left in about 1973 or 74. My cousin and her husband came from France for a holiday to where I lived in Leicestershire and said where are you going on holiday? I said we were going to Suffolk or somewhere. So they said why don't you come to France, Guy? He drew, he said here are the directions, and he literally drew them on the back of an envelope and I still have that Miles in my memory box.
Miles:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So would that have been your first time abroad? Yeah, and how old would you have been?
Brenda:Well, it wasn't the first time I had been to spain but it was, and I'd been to switzerland once, but it was the first holiday of. So there we were. I rang chris and she's all right, we'll go. And I got a route from the aa. I've got his directions and I was quite confident, you know and how far we're talking in the loire valley.
Brenda:So we were talking a good way and I was all right until the day I was going on holiday and I sat in my office and one of the professors came in and he said to me you're going on holiday, brenda. I said yes and I told him where. He said oh, you're going on that periphery, grand Paris.
Brenda:He said it's terrible, it's awful so then I thought oh god, is this going to be as easy anyway, chris and I, and again, in those days there was no motorway, so we had to go along the 259 to Dover. We, we had a proper breakfast in a restaurant on the boat, yeah, and then. So we got through and we got to Paris and they told me you know where you got on. And we sat there and we said do you think we're on the periphery? And I always remember Chris said, yeah, look, there's the Sacré-Cœur. And we hadn't realised, because it wasn't that bad at all and we knew where to get off.
Brenda:So we then drove down into France it was quite a way, and we had to get off at a place called Auxerre and we got to the village about it'd be about seven o'clock and it was getting dark. It said turn right by the laundrette. Well, we were looking for the laundrette, couldn't find the laundrette. They hadn't told us, guy, by this time my cousin's husband had gone back to Africa where he worked, and Edith and the two little boys they went back later. So she then and Chris and I went travelling, didn't we? We went each year, edith, we'd go to somewhere different. So it was good. What in Europe? In France, really. Yeah, we saw lots of places that we wouldn't have seen at all.
Miles:So would that have been your first time on a ferry at that time.
Brenda:Yeah, god, yeah yeah. And driving on the wrong side of the road, yeah, yeah, and the most difficult thing, miles, you see, in those days you had to fix the amber shades on your headlights, can you? Remember that. Yeah, I remember the yellow things.
Miles:Yeah, they were ever such a nuisance they were. Yeah, stick them on.
Brenda:They were ever such a nuisance. We then in later life we went to France to Edith's son's wedding. I'd got an escort or something, I think.
Miles:It wasn't that big.
Brenda:And Chris and I were to take my cousin's mother, aunt Pauline, who was well into her 80s, and my cousin Kathleen, who was was also 80, and us two. So that was all right, we'd fit in the car. Edith had also invited her aunt minnie from newcastle on time, who was well into her 80s, thinking well, she won't come, you know well, of course aunt minnie wanted to come. So, aunt minnie, somebody brought her to ship shed and I said to chris he got aunt minnie. So chris had to sit in the middle of these two old ladies. She was squashed and somebody brought her to Shep's shed and I said to Chris we got Aunt Minnie. So Chris had to sit in the middle of these two old ladies. She was scotched in the middle of this car and then the plan was we stayed here the night.
Brenda:The day we traveled was the 29th of June, which it was the Feast of St Peter and Paul, a holy day of obligation, and so I'd said well, we can't go to mass that day. You know we'll miss mass. Auntie pauline, my cousin's mother, no way will we miss in mass. She said we, you'll have to find an early mass. So chris had to go to find out from a church around here where we could go to mass so on route yeah, she found one at Ove at 7am, so we've got these old people that remember.
Miles:Hang on a minute. So you went to church and then you started the journey. Yeah, and then we started the journey.
Brenda:yeah, aunt Pauline wasn't going to go without starting the journey, was she At all? And we got them on the ferry and my Aunt Pauline wasn't scared because she'd been on the ferry before, and Aunt Minnie was a tough old girl, but my cousin Kathleen had never, ever been on anything like that at all. Chris had to stand there and say don't move. Yeah, and we, um, and we, we drove to Orléans, yeah, to uh, to a nice hotel, wasn't it Chris? The Hotel of the Bee, and my cousin, who's very unconventional, I mean, nothing was organized and we had agreed to make canapes. Chris, do you remember making those little things with toast and smoked salmon?
Brenda:Because French weddings, you invite lots of people to the church and then to the I can't remember what it's called, but they come to the reception to have wine and canapes. Then those who haven't been invited to eat they have to go home. But they were there for hours, you see, because they were drinking and those canapes we made were gone in a flash. It was a rare wedding really. It was quite. I mean, it was quite something. And they had three wedding cakes. The bride was half Danish, so there was a Danish wedding cake, a French wedding cake and the English wedding cake that my sister had made three tiers and the French thought it was cardboard because it was so pure looking. They soon found out it wasn't.
Miles:So was that made there.
Brenda:No, it was transported. I didn't have to do that. My cousin's son, anthony, had to do that. That was his responsibility. He wouldn't have got it in the car, I wouldn't know with these old folks. But they enjoyed it, didn't they, chris? They really did enjoy themselves, and Cousin Kathleen, of course, never forgot it, you know, because for her it was a big adventure.
Miles:And how old was she then at that time?
Brenda:She was in her 70s, so it was a big adventure.
Miles:Had she been abroad at that time.
Brenda:No, never. No, that was a one and only time. Oh no, and they all made a fuss of the old people. And they all made a fuss of the old people and the reception it was at my cousin's school, in this hall, and the wine came out of barrels and we didn't eat until about 9 o'clock in the evening. We were absolutely gasping of hunger.
Miles:Very European though, isn't it?
Brenda:Yeah, absolutely. And then we had to go back the next morning to clear up, didn't we? The bride's family didn't go. I couldn't say typical. I knew it would be us from Shepshard in England that had to do all the clearing up. We had a lot of fun.
Miles:We've done a lot of travelling, haven't we together, right yeah?
Brenda:we've done a lot. After those first visits to France and driving around with my cousin, I was then getting older. I also had a responsible job, so we decided we would go on organised tours. So we decided we would go on organised tours, so we used to go on Thompson's, small and Friendly, and we went to Italy. We went to did all the. For three years we did the Italian Lakes.
Miles:So what years are we talking about now?
Brenda:We're going into the 70s 80s. Yeah, it would be the early 80s, because I was director of nursing by that time. Yeah, and we went to Rome. Sorrento, sorrento is nice yeah and and because we were Miss Miles and Miss Wallen, they put us with all these teenagers down what they called the drain. It was this you know there was. It was music playing all night.
Miles:Yeah, we had to, we had to ask how old were you then?
Brenda:Well, we were 50.
Miles:And you were with a load of how old were the kids?
Brenda:Well, they were teenagers and it was a cheap hotel. I remember because I was concerned that we had a decent hotel in Rome and I didn't take too much notice of the Sorrento Hotel. But it was a cheap hotel, wasn't it, chris? And the man used to come round with all the food on a trolley, like school dinners really. And we were on a table with two youngsters, weren't we Teenagers? They were lovely kids and they'd saved for this holiday and we wouldn't tell them what we did. They kept saying do you work in an office? Yeah, we said yeah, we work in an office. We didn't tell them until we left. Did we what we did for a living? They were grandkids. Yeah, it was a good holiday.
Brenda:When we arrived at Sorrento, chris, you know the table in the sitting room. Yeah, she bought that. Now, I don't know your auntie, but she's sometimes very tight with her money. Oh is she, and doesn't spend anything. And this young man she said to me I want a table because it was a flat pack. Can you manage to get it? I said we'll get it back. But this young man had no idea what a sailor was doing to sell this old woman this table. No, no, no, miles, you must not throw that away with the. You must treasure that table definitely yeah, it was.
Miles:So. If you could relive any of the holidays now, which one would you relive? Egypt, yeah, probably Egypt. Why Egypt?
Brenda:Because it was so magic going down the Nile. We sailed down the Nile and you looked like across the fields and you thought you were in the days of the Bible. Yeah, we did, we did, and we stayed at Luxor then for six days and then we went to a place called Abu Simbel. Have you been to Egypt?
Miles:No, I would love to see the pyramids. I mean, the closest I've been to Luxor is in Vegas.
Brenda:Yeah, I've been in that one, the pyramids.
Miles:No, I'd love to see the pyramids.
Brenda:Oh, it's wonderful.
Miles:It must be amazing.
Brenda:And the temple of Abu Simbel, because when they built the now they actually moved it brick by brick and rebuilt it so they wouldn't lose it. And when I went to the hotel in las vegas, you remember there's the river. Yeah, yeah yes, and the and the tour guide was saying now then, does anybody know about abu simbel? And I put my hand up. She was very disappointed that I knew about it, but that was a great memory for all this, oh yeah, yeah, we had good.
Brenda:We always had good time and, what's funny, sometimes miles when you're two older women. You see people perhaps a bit like yourself married couples look at you and think, oh, we're not old women, you don't want to sort of have to look after them, as it were. It was in Italy, and we wanted to go to this beauty spot, and I said, chris, well, we should be able to go. So we found our way there through bus and train, and then, when we came back in the evening and the people were talking and we said we've been to such and such, and they looked at us and said how did you get there? We said, well, we went on the bus and the train, and you know and it was a big shock to them that two older women could actually find their way around better than them. Yeah, they were nice, though. Have you been to the Italian lakes?
Miles:No, you haven't. I've been to Lake Como, so yeah.
Brenda:Have you, yeah, but only once Lake Como, lake, como.
Miles:So, going back to the 60s, what about music and stuff like that?
Brenda:When I told you about the first time I went to Spain in 1964, now that I remember very clearly and the hotel had a flat roof and we, we were twisting and dancing up there to the Beatles. I remember that very, very well, yeah and you did meet all the Beatles.
Brenda:I went to see Tommy Steele and I've still got the. I'd still have the program for that at Queen Charlotte if there were ticket. If theaters had tickets that they didn't sell, they used to send them to the hospital and we'd come off duty at five o'clock and the home sister would say I've got some theatre tickets and we'd so that's what you'd do to go out.
Brenda:Yeah, yeah, yeah. We saw quite a lot and we went to a few parties, because the 60s was the era when parties really started. I was a big Frank Sinatra fan and I've still got all his stuff.
Miles:But no, we didn't go to any pop concerts. So as you look back over decades, do you associate decades with pop stars or movie stars or just events? When you look back at things, what do you think? Because I tend to link stuff to music, but maybe that's just.
Brenda:No, I don't I link it to. I link it to events and what I was doing, right, what I was doing at the time work-wise, because in our career you went from being a student nurse to being a qualified nurse, to then being a student midwife, to being a staff midwife, then to, and then I was a teacher and then I went into management and then I went into senior management, I suppose I tend to think of it a bit like that. I don't know. I remember one of my memories of coming here to Chris's house. She invited me to her home called the Bothy, and it was an interesting little house, wasn't it, because it was sort of on a bit of a hill. So your bedroom window, you looked out and the cow was looking in the window at you. I can remember that.
Brenda:But I remember Chrissie's mother didn't mind if you sat around in your nightclothes all morning. Now, my mother would not have allowed that at all. And I can remember in this house coming here and her mother sat there and your mother would cook a meal, wouldn't she, chris? But you never quite know what time it was going to be, did you at night? She never thought she'd be cooking something, and I can see her now saying I'm fed up with this, I'll sit down, let's have a brandy. Yeah, she did, didn't she? I always remember that now my mother would not have done that at all, and that was the big difference, really, in a way. Yeah, did you tell him about going to the Aga Khan? An obstetrician went from London who was attached to Queen Charlotte's hospital to supervise her care and delivery, and he took a midwife with him from Queen Charlotte's. Chris was invited Because Queen Charlotte's in those days that was the place.
Miles:That's how she met the Beatles.
Brenda:That's how she met the Beatles and all sorts of famous people we had. And the first time it was when John Lennon and Yoko Oni came in. I was running the delivery suite on nights and that the the press got hold of the story that she was in that and that was the first time that you had press climbing over the walls, you know, to try and, yeah, get a story. And there was, of course, the time when the Isle of Wight, when we had to come and look after you three, but you told us where I don't know if it was you or Adam you told us the wine was kept and we opened a bottle of Gevry Chambardine which was very expensive.
Miles:I remember you taking me to see James Bond at the cinema and Richard said what a big telly yeah, it was live and let die and and it no, it was a.
Miles:It was. I remember it clearly because it was the first james bond film I ever saw. I was a bit confused because we came it was a double bill when it was on a majesty secret service, and then followed by roger moore, live and let die, and we came in on the end of we didn't see a majesty secret, so we just came in on the end, did we? And obviously I saw him and then living that die. So living that die was the first bond film I ever saw.
Brenda:You guys took yeah, I was a bit confused why this man suddenly changed.
Miles:Yeah, I remember that but living that I didn't see him as you, just the end of it. And then we watched um living that dies, yeah it was cold.
Brenda:Do you remember chris in the hotel and the? And you remember the hot water bottle was a was a tin, a biscuit tin, with a with a light bulb in so why do you think I mean why have you stayed friends all these years? Well, I guess because, because you don't live on top of each other, yeah, and think that's it, isn't it, chris? You don't get fed up with each other, and we had other friends that were good friends. You wouldn't have wanted to have gone on holiday always with them, would you?
Miles:so could. Would there have been a possibility that you could I mean going right back to when you first met that you could have been in different digs? I mean what? What happened you?
Brenda:we it. Well, queen charlotte's was quite a small hospital. Yeah, so we would have known each other. Yeah, because it was small. Yeah, it's not like one of these big hospitals nowadays, and in those days you lived in, whereas now they don't live in and now they go home to their flat. Their mate might have gone out, and who do you have to give off to? You've perhaps seen your first dead body or you know, you're upset over something, and you all lived in in those days. You know the nurses home, and so it was good. You think in today's world, how could they afford? Yeah, and you all lived in in those days. You know the nurse's home, and so it was good. You think, in today's world, how could they afford to live in London?
Brenda:Oh we couldn't afford to have lived in Chiswick, could we? No, no, we couldn't so.
Miles:London's changed massively in your lifetime.
Brenda:Some parts of it haven't, though. I mean, if you go back to Chiswick now, that hasn't changed. It's different restaurants, but the place itself, you know, hasn't changed. Yeah, and some of the shops have changed. I mean oxford street's, not the oxford street that it was in our day. I mean we would sometimes go, but we'd sometimes go into harrods, you know, if we'd been working all night to have coffee or something. Well, I don't think you do that nowadays. Harrods, places like Harrods, were different shops to what they are now. It's not such a good shop as it used to be, but Oxford Street was very special, but it's not now. I still like to go to London at Christmas.
Miles:No, as well as coming to us at Christmas.
Brenda:I like to come to you at Christmas and I like to go to London.
Miles:How many other families are you visiting at Christmas? Coming back to my Brenda Christmas store, oh gosh.
Brenda:How many other families do you? How many?
Miles:Christmas do's, do you do?
Brenda:Well, I used to go to Alan, and Valerie's obviously Always went to them and Lynn and Jenny's always went to them. I mean, there's 60 million people in the UK.
Miles:You must be so busy at Christmas well, I go, I go to, I try and go to my niece in Yorkshire before Christmas because I like Harrogate.
Brenda:Okay, harrogate, yeah, I like there and I didn't go this year and I was very upset about that. Well, you can go this year, can't you, yeah, and I like to go um. My niece lives in Hitchin. That's nice, hitchin's nice.
Miles:Is there anything else on your little note there?
Brenda:No, I think that's. They were all the main points.
Miles:Well, thank you very much. I'm going to eat all my Yorkies.
Brenda:You can't eat all those in the car.
Miles:Right, I'm going to take a bike.
Brenda:Okay, well, if you ever want to.
